Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
