Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
