Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
