my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
