I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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