So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
