Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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