Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize