He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize