My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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