You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
