We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
