Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
