So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
