There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
