I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Randomize
