google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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