You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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