Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
