So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize