I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
