Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You ate ashes out of my bong
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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