somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
