hotel room ftw
how can u be prego again
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Floor bacon is actually really good
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
