Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize