Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
When are your genitals available?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
