My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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