I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
