I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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