Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
