Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
