She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize