I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
