So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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