I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
