i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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