I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
