I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize