So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
You smell like stripper and shame
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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