I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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