Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
