I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize