How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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