we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
