Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
