You can't motorboat a personality
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
