If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
