4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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