if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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