I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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