Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
