There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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