so that wasnt chicken after all
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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