he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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