i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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