If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
