Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
