I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The air was thick with penises
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
