Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Randomize
